Friday, April 1, 2011

Obama Convinces Brazil to Give Chicago the 2016 Olympics

Fresh off his trip to Brazil, news has come out that President Obama has convinced Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva to pass on the 2016 Olympics and give them to his adopted hometown Chicago.

Besides, the additional tourism and new infrastructure that is sure to come with the event, the most surprising development is that the recently sold Roosevelt Collection building in the South Loop will be converted from rental property to Olympic Village in 2015 (the year before the Olympics come to town).

The news is expected to bolster the downtown and South Loop rental real estate market. The best news of all, is that the new owner of the building, McCaffery and Canyon Capital Realty Advisors, has come to terms with the IOC to convert all of the 398,324 square feet of vacant retail space into the worlds largest discotheque to cater to the influx of foreigners who simply love to dance.

An elated, European IOC delegate was quoted as saying, "When it comes down to it, the Sports didn't have much to do with this decision. Simply put, Chicago offers us a better venue for all night dancing. Here we come Chicago!"

UPDATE @10:30am - As a result of this decision and after realizing that they would be the fifth mass retailer to sell groceries on Roosevelt road, Trader Joe's has decided to scrap their plans to open up a store at Roosevelt and Wabash. This comes at a convenient time for the owners of the building as they are now pitching the USOC and Chicago 2016 Olympic team to build the aquatic center at this location since there is a huge hole in the ground where the underground parking was supposed to be.

Various Chicago news organizations are reporting that Olympic officials are weighing proposals for this location and that the frontrunner for this venue is the old Chicago Spire plot.

(Hat tip: AF!)


  1. Haha, that was a good one.

  2. Very funny Sloopin ... almost forgot it's April Fools day.

  3. Well done! A very solid April Fool's Day article. Thanks for making my morning a little better...

  4. Should have been "Restaurant opens in South Loop that's not a sandwich shop!"

    I guess nobody would believe that anyway.


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